My First Day of School

31 years ago I started school. I went to Presentation in Terenure. We lived in Tallaght at the time but my Mam had a bout of the Hyacinth Buckets during the 80s and 90s so myself and

a few other Sheridan’s from the area used to trek out to the Nure every day on a bus.

I was a very quiet kid (until my teacher gave me the nickname ‘Woody Wood Pecker’ because of my filthy ‘I smoke 40 Carroll’s a day laugh’ and then it was game over)

I had delayed speech and issues with my hearing so from a young age I choose to obverse rather than having to explain what I was trying to say. My mam had made the decision to send me to school at 5 rather than 4 because of my speech. What I’m trying to say is I’ve always been the judgy auld wan in the corner.

First impressions I thought the place was a bit fussy. There were a few kids crying, one whaling at the door, clinging on to his mother. I wasn’t buying it. Ironically now I didn’t appreciate the dramatics. I was the youngest of 3 and had enjoy relaxing mornings with my mam while my brothers went to school prior to all this.  If I’d been able to pipe up at the time I would had asked everyone to chill the fuck out. It was around this time I started to hone my filthy looks and eye rolls. I had these great school shoes for my first day though. The sole was covered with screwdrivers, spanners and hammers and I remember sitting in school running my finger over the raised shapes.

When things settled we all coloured in a picture of a clown which even at the time I thought was risky and might set off whaling Wallace again but it was a great bit of de stress time we all needed (even though the crayons supplied were the size of baguettes making staying within the lines near impossible).

I don’t have any memories of my breakfast, my family, my parents, what was in my lunchbox or anything apart from the actual school bit that day. So if your first day back to school or even the third or fourth day back to school with the kids was a cluster fuck I wouldn’t worry about it. No one is going to remember whether Mam fuck up the pancakes or if Dad was stressing, it doesn’t matter. Back to school is not about parents it’s about eye balling everyone else and trying figure out the crazy place.