A Bad Dose of Covipainaholeious

If 5 or more of the things listed below relate to you, you unfortunately have what is called Covipainaholeious.

Jaysus, it’s been a long few months. I mean at the start it was a bit of a laugh. 2 weeks working from home was the stuff of dreams for me. Pretty sure I punched someone in the face just to get out of the place quicker- at least I had the same kind of adrenaline rush. But now it’s starting to feel like the world is very very slowly wrapping up and calling last orders (last orders was a thing of the old world, don’t worry about it). If 5 or more of the things listed below relate to you, you unfortunately have what is called Covipainaholeious. Please subscribe to help me find a cure (its free ffs)

1.       You’re using the word staycation

2.       Having an imagery time in your head set for when this will all be over. You have no evidence or facts to back this up but it’s the only thing keeping you going

3.       Going on celebrities Instagram lives and getting fully involved

4.       You’ve meditated 3 times in the last 6 months so you’ve start looking into becoming a practitioner

5.       You’d do anything to be in a sweaty over crowded venue

6.       Setting up WhatsApp groups for 90 minute drinks in the local

7.       You’ve started running and you’re telling people that you’ve started running

8.       You actually know where your birth certificate is now

9.       You’ve had at least 3 dreams about Paul Mescal

10.   You wearing a mask in your head is the equivalent to you finding a vaccine. Same same

Captured here mid morning routine- morto!

11.   Reaching out to people you haven’t thought of in the last 5 year only to be reminded why you’d stopped talking to them in the first place

12.   You’ve never been so aware of your toilet habits

13.   Contemplating sending Katie Price a ‘Get Well Soon’ card

14.   You genuinely feel you’d do better than most of the politicians

15.   There are no cups of tea anymore just a never ending cup

16.   Jesus, I think I’m going to tell this random person on twitter that they are in fact wrong

17.   It’s not a rash. You just keep scratching it because you’re bored. Save yourself the trip to the doctor

18.   Your getting ready in the morning routine is now 4 hours long

19.   Going for 5am swims, grand. But thinking about writing a book about your 5am swims now

20.   You read this list and feel some of these were untrue and wanted to take the time to tell me ‘I don’t get number whatever whatever……………..’